Relationships can be somewhat complex and, on many occasions, the situation or the person. It can cause a mixture of feelings to occur within us that is difficult for us to define. What is love, and what is desire? Why do we tend to confuse both feelings? If you find yourself in any of these dilemmas, you have reached the correct article. We want to help you discover how to know if it’s love or lust. Among these, there are some differences that, on many occasions, are almost invisible or difficult to determine, but that if you pay attention to your situation, you will be able to unmask. Physical attraction or romance? Next, we give you the answer.
Love and desire are two different things, and they tend to be confused because both are feelings, in many cases excessive, that a specific person awakens in us. In this sense, your Cerberus can help you determine if your feelings go beyond the physical and are about infatuation.
The responses of the brain of various people by showing them erotic photographs or images in front of photos of their loved ones, friends, or family. The result of this study showed that desire manifested itself through pleasure and lasted only a few minutes, while love and affection was a brain stimulus that could last up to several hours.
Looking at this exercise, we could say that if after speaking or seeing that person who arouses interest in you, their image and memory persists for hours and the feeling of excitement or happiness is maintained over time. It is most likely that it’s about love. On the other hand, if the reaction is only momentary and the pleasure lasts a few minutes, you do not feel happiness or emotion that lasts longer, then we speak of physical attraction or desire.
Another key to differentiating between love and desire is the type of thought you direct towards that person. When you feel desire or lust, you are focusing on your individual needs or goal. For this reason, sexual desire is often understood as a whim.
However, when you are in love, your goals and needs become a common theme. You indeed stop thinking only through the “I” to start using the “I” and the “we,” depending on the topic you are considering and integrating a person into your plans, telling them your wishes, taking their opinion into account, setting joint goals or making plans for the future, even if only in your head, will be a sign that what you are feeling is love.
You hear his name. You see his photo. You are about to have a date or a meeting … If your thoughts are focused only on sex or sexual fantasy, it is about desire. The great difference between desire and love is, precisely, that desire has to do with an impulse of a sexual nature, in which it seeks to obtain immediate gratification without the need to meet friends or family, without having a greater interest in their tastes or hobbies or to have a deep conversation.
On the other hand, love is reflected through commitment and trust, always trying to create a romantic atmosphere of interest and concern. Also, when you fall in love, that person becomes your priority, your support and the person with whom you will always want to make plans for the future. The connection is deeper and you need to know everything about this person, be in their life and vice versa.
In addition to everything our brain tells us, it is also important to listen to the heart. Both love and desire cause the heartbeat to increase. How to differentiate them?
If the increase in heart rate is momentary or only occurs when the subject is related to sexual encounters, we can say that it is about desire. However, suppose this acceleration occurs at various times both in a physical appointment and during a call or as a reaction of your body to a thought that arises related to this person. In that case, we can say that it is about love.
The tone of voice we use can also be a key that helps us differentiate between love and desire for a person. If it is about physical attraction or sexual desire, the tone of voice is usually higher because the interest is to attract attention and make yourself noticed.
However, when it comes to love, the tone of voice is usually more natural. It does not vary too much from the one you use on other occasions in your life, because you feel comfortable and connected enough not to have to attract attention. After all, I don’t know it deals with a single instant.
What do you usually pay attention to more, on the face or the body? Although it may seem like a banal question, you should know that it can be a way to differentiate love from desire.
If you look more at a person’s face and not just their body, you do not lose detail of their gestures, their facial expression, their smile, their eyes, or even their hair, we can speak of falling in love. However, if you look at their face but still look more at the body and the general image of this person, surely it is just desire, at least for now, because it is a physical and sexual attraction.
This is one of the most frequently asked questions and the answer is simple: yes, desire can turn into love. Sexual desire can cross the border and transform into love when this attraction is lasting over time. That is, attachment can result in this conversion. When we speak of attachment we refer to that feeling of security and comfort when they are close to their desired or loved person. This attachment gives a new meaning to the relationship and our feelings because it provides security, stability and the certainty that the person will always be there for us when we need them.
Although many relationships begin without feelings of love, with a simple sexual desire or a physical and/or intellectual attraction, spending time together and lengthening this physical connection over time by turning the desire into something lasting can cause the emotions related to the desire to become more romantic, since little by little you get to know the person better and, therefore, you can fall in love with them or not.